Brown Thunm#3

Okay, here's the last installation of the Brown Thumb, adventures in plumbing. I wish I could say things are going swimmingly, but at least the toilets flush.
Be over there tomorrow.”
I get a call from Johnny. The truck he has won’t pull the excavator. We need to use mine. Okay, no problem.
I go out to start the truck. Completely dead. The batteries show zero voltage. They must have shorted out. I pull the batteries, wearing my old clothes. Despite what most people think, not all of my clothes are old thanks in large part to my wife. Battery acid and jeans don’t play well together. I’m off to Costco, where I got the batteries. Reach for my Costco card and realize my wallet is in my good jeans. Back to the house, back to Costco, stand in line. They no longer carry that style of battery. Off to Walmart. Not only did they have them, but at a lower price and better warranty. Yahoo! Progress. Without more incident, we bring the excavator back (Nerve wracking in itself, as it is REALLY heavy and without trailer brakes, the truck takes forever to stop. Means I have to plan my stops way ahead. Johnny is right behind me because the lights don’t work either.
We arrive at the site of destruction at four pm. Johnny digs the hole around the bad valve. The piping looks corroded. We decide to trench and install the new line at a new location. It really wouldn’t do to break the valve off the line by digging too near it. That would shut down the neighborhood. I call the neighborhood association. They come down to inspect. They’re visibly nervous, too. They call their plumbing contractor. They look, shake their heads but decide they can replace the valve. (Better them than me who gets blamed. Remember in the plumbing world, surprises are NEVER good) So the bottom line is that their plumbing company will be here Tuesday to replace the bad valve and I can make the final tie in. Of course, the hole will be filled with water from draining the mainline, and the neighbors will be without water. Hurray! Until then, I’m still on hose power, but I only had to repair the hose four times today.
But it’s not over! My brown thumb still has the ability to make caca out of cool aid. This morning I went out start my wife’s car, inserted the key and turned it. The key fell apart with the stub in the ignition. Luckily there was enough sticking out that I was able to start and drive the car. One might think having the stub would be sufficient, but NO. The alarm system on her car isn’t functioning properly. It requires that the alarm off button on the key (that piece is now somewhere on the floor hidden from view) be depressed TWICE or the alarm goes off. The only way to turn it off is start the car. With no button and only a stub of a key, the neighbors could get annoyed before I get it started. Talk about the brown thumb. I’m afraid to touch anything. Hmmm What about going to the bathroom? A danger? Hope not!

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